=A= The next thing will be something decent, finished, and better. I swear. Just scribbled this up and I liked it and since I didn’t have anything else to throw up, why not?

Just a stupid, five minute, ‘in no uncertain terms’, doodle for my husband. >_>; I love that stupid tanktop. It always creates the illusion of reasonable cleavage (of which I have none).

I have an unreasonable amount of hair (think 3’1” + of hair). So it’s a bit of a running gag that is sentient/I have magic control over it. I like to doodle it sometimes. z_z

It is also fickle. It is utterly straight some days, and a nightmare of frizz and curls the next. Overall it starts with a straight curve downward then turns into ringlets a little bit past my face. It was curlier before it was so long. I think it’s too heavy and that straightens it. One side is also considerably curlier/wavier than the other side (which looks quite straight in comparison). oO; It… it’s very odd. I’m toying with the idea of playing it up more in future and more serious self-portraits. What do you think?

Some of my own work because stop reblogging, Crys. That’s why.

Actually like two years-ish old? I don’t know. A christmas or two ago at least. Whenever my mom was big into the Sopranos airing on Bravo. z_z Yep.

This is terrible, actually. But I don’t know. It’s always hit this weird soft spot because it was one of the few times when I painted something that wasn’t an absolute fiasco in every right. I remember being really proud at the vibrancy at the time, and the fact it was traditional. Both incredibly out of my comfort zone.

Too bad the subject matter is still par for the course with my work. So derivative. Blagh.

I actually have so many paintings I AM proud of. Pen work, markers, pencils. They never see the light of day, and most certainly the light of scanner. And they’re much better than this. I don’t know. I’m always so nervous when I practice my traditional works that they just end up feeling too personal. Critique my digital work to hell, please. It’s awful. I’m just afraid I’d be too guarded.

But that’s why this year is dedicated to getting better. Just like every year.

I deactived my various social media accounts a few days ago before I went to bed. I was really emotionally fried, at the time. That point where, I don’t know, every little thing is getting to you and you realize your dependency on communication and connection is really only hindering your self-esteem. The need to feel like someone remembered your birthday or misses you only hurts more than it makes you smile.

But I’ll be back in a few days!

It feels strange, how much it’s helping. I don’t usually let myself be alone with my emotions because I don’t like how they drive me to feel so low. But instead, I’ve been crying less and creating more. My productivity feels through the roof. But I don’t think Matt appreciates my five-in-the-morning emotional outbursts followed by promptly by - I need a sketchbook. HEH. Oh well~.

Edit: Lol, posted it before I got the last paragraph in before. xD

Our home is an absolute emotional nightmare right now, and this is supposed to be my reprieve and outlet until we can afford the move. What am I doing knowingly putting myself through that, right?